- My latest tradition in medical school is having a good cry every Sunday night. I usually have a 'one thing' that sets off the tears, but it all pretty much boils down to feeling overwhelmed. This week, it was reading Rory Feek's blog about his wife Joey's battle with cancer. She's at home receiving hospice care, and she's pretty much bedridden at this point. I was just thinking about how doctors are supposed to be heroes and save people's lives, but they can't save them all. It would be nice if death didn't come for young mothers of babies, though. I'm not saying anyone else deserves to die more, but I am saying that doctors aren't the heroes. It's people like Joey that find out that they have cancer shortly after delivering a sweet baby who will grow up not knowing how awesome her mother was.
- Then there's heroes like this doctor, who lost a 19 year old patient and was captured on film having a good break-down outside. This picture breaks my heart, but it also gives me hope. I didn't set out to become a doctor without a heart. People don't want a robot caring for them. I hope at some point I can overcome being a sniveling sob-bunny, though. I've never cried so much in my life as I have since I started school. And if anyone else is an INTJ (Myers-Briggs), you know crying is not something we are supposed to do. I guess I've held it in my entire life, and I can now cry at the drop of a hat. It's disconcerting and I hate it.
- My HB does not seem fazed at all by my new cry-it-out-Sunday habit. He sits and rubs my feet and talks about whatever started the avalanche, and then analyzes me and says I'm crying because my big girl pants are getting wadded up. Whatever.
- Since this block is about all things musculoskeletal, we are learning how to splint, cast, inject, and aspirate. This is terrifying and exciting at the same time. I love whenever things get clinically-related, because we get to do stuff! But the idea of sticking a needle into someone's knee is pretty horrifying. Good thing we practice on the mannikins first. Don't get me started on how I'm afraid of the mannikins.
- I'm really excited about this week, because I get to
torment, er, have lunch with some of the potential members of next year's class. They are doing interviews this week, and some of us from this year's class get to have lunch with the interviewees and take them on a tour of the building. Apparently a ton of us signed on to do the honors, so they had to make a schedule. I'm kinda excited, and hey, free lunch!
- Thanksgiving holiday was a nice break, except for the homework assignment that showed up in my email AFTER I had left town to go visit family. Monday is going to be an all-day small group learning (SGL) activity that involves a butt-ton of pre-reading material. Of course I put it off til today, because holidays, duh! I suppose they are trying to teach us that as we get further along in our education, and probably as doctors (except for probably dermatologists), we will be working through a bunch of holidays. Thanks. *adjusting big girl pants*
- Also, tomorrow should be when we get some of our grades back from the exams we've taken lately. I've not been so very eager to see all of those. That anatomy exam was painful, and I don't really want to know. Ignorance = bliss, right? Hopefully they will let me stick around.
- So I guess that's pretty much everything for this week. Tune in next week for "Why the Med Student is Crying Now."